Saturday, September 6, 2014

6 - Sept - 14

These days are rather busy and taking the time to blog isn’t happening. [sadly]  Never fear, I have not forgotten you, the readers.  Thus the reason I am here now.  Obviously my skill for having random thoughts hasn’t been lost in the business of life, as you can clearly tell, so let me try to move on here…and leave those behind…
{oh dear. this could be quite difficult}
 Four weeks ago I walked off the airplane into a familiar airport.  I desperately tried to prepare myself for the coming days and the emotions that would flood this little brain, but alas, that was not possible.  Little did I know that not only would I face the struggles I expected, but also the struggles I didn’t even know existed in my life.  Well, now they do and I am learning to trust God even more. 
 The first few days consisted of shock.  I tried to completely grasp that I was back in Thailand.  I tried to make myself believe that I had really been gone for an entire year and then some.  I attempted to process the fact that the entire year was over & now I was back in Thailand.  Grenada had been visited {…and honestly, I’m still not over that trip. But that’s another story.}, new friends were made, new places were discovered, I saw God in so many incredible ways, and so much more really…
Unpacking was done and sorting through stored belongings created thoughts of becoming gray before I’m even twenty. {ohpleaseno}  Each day I wrestled with the fact that I was living here without a plan.  I had no idea what I was going to do and when I was going to figure it out.  Honestly, I was struggling with trust.  I knew God would provide, but some days it seemed impossible.  God has been showing me that complete surrender is so important.  Yes, He has been showing me this for y e a r s, but sometimes children just d o n t g e t i t.  Hopefully I will someday…but we shall see…
This past week I started a new month with a new schedule.  I actually am busy. Hard to believe, I know…Monday I hit the books.  It was a little frightening and exciting all at the same time.  I forgot so much, sadly, but my teacher is so kind J & for this I am forever grateful!  Between classes three days a week {two hours each}, an hour [plus] of assisting in the kitchen trying to learn how to make Thai food and speak Thai, and homework, I am fairly busy.  Once a week I am trying my hand at teaching, which is fun & stretching…but the kids…how can you not love them??  Along with that, I help my madre at home with food and such…then there are those personal goals in life.  I love music, so I am working on improving some of those abilities in my spare time. {hehe}  But it is fun, I have to admit.  Music is just so…so…it is b e a u t i f u l <3.
It is good to be back in a schedule again.  It really is.  But it also has it’s struggles.  So you can pray for me as I struggle to find solitude moments in amongst the business of life.  I want to do it all well, but sometimes I run out of energy. [true story]  Those moments are amazing though, because then I learn once again to rely on God when it looks absolutely IMPOSSIBLE.
Ok.  The night is getting old & sleep is important as well!
Love to all. & so long…