In a little less than three weeks I will board a plane with my family. The journey will take us back to what we knew as home, but now it's different than what it used to be. What was known as home for this past year will be left behind along with the friends we made. How does one process this?
In one year's time, every 'home' state & country were visited. Memories were made & lessons were learned. God worked in a powerful way in my life & honestly, I am a different person today than I was last year at this time. The year had struggles [BIG struggles], but God was that constant strong & steady, ever-present Father. I've learned to love Him even more & I've seen Him use broken and imperfect people to impact other's lives. When I thought it was impossible, He used me [little, imperfect me]. When life seemed difficult, he brought relationships into my life that were humanly impossible.
Now I'm trying to grasp the thought that this year is almost over. Tears come to my eyes as I attempt to process the thought of leaving. It's one of those moments when all the feelings you could ever imagine come swooping into your life and overwhelm you. There truly are no words. God reminded me this morning that I can fully trust Him because He's in control. He knows. I can rest in the assurance that He has it all under control & I can accept it. For me to push it away would be painful. To accept the coming journey is going to be painful. But if I trust Him, it will be bearable and He will continually comfort me. There's no way to try to hide that it's hard. Honestly, it's one of those things you question and wonder why God would allow so much inconsistency in one person's life. Why would God allow so much change and so few people who fully understand and care?
"I am with you."
That's all I need. No matter how hard the situation, no matter how difficult the task, HE IS WITH ME & I don't need to worry about the future.
Pray for us, if you think about it. These next weeks look HUGE! But our God is BIGGER!
<3
Thanks for posting, Bushy. I'm looking forward to sitting down at a coffee shop & hearing about the past year. Seriously, I can't even imagine everything your feeling and going through right now... but I care & think of you a lot! Praying for extra strength and grace for the next few weeks through the processing, tears, and uprooting. love ya!
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