Trust

Every quiet, breathing moment that somehow majestically creeps its way into my day appears to be full of deep thoughts...thoughts of my past, future, and even the present issues at steak.  How I even have time to think of the likes still amazes me...honestly, life feels like a whirlwind!  But aside from all of that, there has been one word on my mind for the past year--> TRUST. 

What is trust?? What is it to you & what is it to me?

Most of you know what my life has held in the past several years, but maybe not all of you...

Last year was my senior year, my last year of school, and to be completely honest, I was VERY excited.  You see, I don't tend to be one of those school nerds who flies through school with impressive grades and I was ready for life..the REAL world..or so I thought.  Christmas was over and slowly my amount of schoolwork became smaller and smaller til there was almost nothing left...Graduation was being thought about and plans were beginning to come together when God threw something at me I never expected!  Believe it or not, I didn't graduate...in fact I have spent this last year in school..doing MORE schoolwork [things I didn't think I'd do] and seeing God work in people's lives.

Now, a little over a year later, I stand in a senior position in life again.  Only this time I think it's real...i think :)  What does God have in store for my future this coming year?

Trust comes to my mind day after day...struggles come hurling my way and I continually have to learn how to totally trust in my Almighty Father.  This year it's trusting that there really IS good in all of the hurts of life and the coming and going...Sometimes I wonder if there's really a point in a year of living completely different...then I wonder how I'm going to leave the friends I've made...

But am I ever grateful that God NEVER changes & I know I can trust Him to lead me!

Words don't really come.
But there are so many mixed emotions.

I never expected that four hours after my brother was born a little girl from our church would be taken home to her Father.
How does one even know how to celebrate life when others are going through grief?
It doesn't make sense that my family had the privilege of experiencing life while others had to experience death.
It doesn't seem fair.
But life isn't fair.

It's hard to think about the coming years...
July 21 is a memorable date to both of our families, but for two completely different reasons.

This week I have thought more about life and death than I have for a long time.
And one of my favorite songs has come back so many times...
"The Lord gives & the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Tired from the day's activities, I grab some fruit and step out onto the back porch to relieve myself of the stuffy house.  The beautiful sun catches my eye as its slowly begins to set in the west.  Tonight is beautiful, hot and slightly uncomfortable, but beautiful.  As I watch the neighbor man play with his kids in the back yard, I hear one of my favorite sounds--the clock tower.  It hits me...Time is running out!  This world is coming to an end and there are still many who have no hope.  There are many father's who don't care about their children and lots of kids who don't know their parents.  What am I doing?
Originally that wasn't what I was going to think about when I stepped outside to catch some fresh air, but that's what He brought to my mind.

Tonight I am so grateful for my family.  My father, mother, and six [almost seven] younger brothers.  Who would I be without them to care for me?
My mind also goes to the journey in which I am about to embark.  Tomorrow brings new experiences.  The next three weeks will hold...well, what will they hold?  This trip has been on my mind for the past couple months and I am very excited to see what all God will do in my life!  It isn't a coincident that I am going to help lead a group of kids from station to station.  He has a plan and I want to be willing to be who He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do!

I would appreciate your prayers as I go to LA.  I am very excited but also a little nervous.  I have to say that I haven't experienced something like this before.
[And if you think about it, pray for my family...they need prayers too! :) ]

the [dust] & its [memories]

     As my dry, dirty fingers plunged into the icy water, my mind began to open the files of memories from days gone by.  All of the precious moments from my life in northern Minnesota began to flood my memory.  Why, it doesn’t seem like it was that long ago that I played with these toys or unwrapped this precious gift, but the dusty rag in my hand was pure evidence of the years these objects had spent in storage. 

     I fought back tears as I went from wiping one dusty cabinet to the next.  Life was so different back then.  Life is so different now.  Thoughts of regret and anticipation flooded my mind as I once again plunged the dirty rag into the icy water.  What would my future hold?  Would there be yet another move and more sorting and packing?  Would my friends be left behind and new ones made elsewhere?  Or would my ‘home’ remain in Southeast Asia for years to come?  Would I continue to wish for someone to understand my past?  Or would I be ok with friends who have known me for a few chapters of my life?

     Then my mind went to my family, the ones who have been there the past seventeen [almost eighteen] years, and I thanked God for blessing me with amazing parents and the six men in my life that I’m proud to call MY brothers.  I really couldn’t have asked for something better!

     But all of that didn’t take away the pain of the friend I had always dreamed of—a sister who would be my bestie and know my life story.  Even though it hurt, and still hurts, I know that my story was written by God, not a scriptwriter for Hollywood or a composer of some earthly song, but a Father Who created the universe.  He knows my story from the end to the beginning.  He understands my jumbled words when I feel like they don’t make sense.  He knows every thought before I even think it and He understands my needs without me even having to explain them.

     Then, once again, the tired little girl looks up at the beautiful sky and whispers a prayer of gratitude to her Abba Father for everything, even when it doesn’t make sense!   

And time is coming to an end...

One more week...
One more time doing all these different things...

But why does life bring situations like these? 
Don't get me wrong, I am excited about this coming year..but there are so many goodbyes and so much work..and not to mention all of the processing this mind has been doing...
It just doesn't make a lot of sense!

But then these words come to my mind...

"Let me hold you through
And let me carry you
I know it feels your at the end
But here your story's just beginning
I know your tomorrow
I know where you are
Though you can't see past the moment
I see beauty in the broken"

There's so much for me to do for Him this year...I have no idea what all that is, but I do know that He sees the bigger picture and all I can do is surrender my life into His hands and know that He has everything under control.

If you think of us, please pray!!!
This biggest thing for me is...
"I don't know what it will be like to come back...crazy as it may sound and you are probably wondering why I am worrying about that now when we haven't even left, but...so much can happen to an individual in a year's time...the people I am leaving behind can and most likely will change..and I can and most likely will change..."

Pray that we can make adjustments well..
That we can continue to trust Him in this adventure...
That we will process this part of life well...

Thank you oh so much!
RaVonne Rhodes

Bound in Satan's Chains

     It was one of those many mornings where she was running late for school.  As she left her house, she whispered a prayer for safety on the roads, especially since she had two younger siblings with her.  As she came to an intersection and took the corner, she noticed that the traffic was slowing way down and her heart sank.  It had to be an accident. 
     "God, please help it not to be bad.  God, please help it not to be someone I know."
     A few more yards down the road was an older man laying on the road and his motorcycle was up the street a few feet.  Not being able to keep her eyes off the road very long, the teenage girl made a quick glance at the scene, a little unsure of what she might find and fearing that she might see a lot of blood which would make her faint.  She turned her eyes back to the road and focused on the traffic around her.  But the picture wouldn't go away.  The man hadn't moved at all, but it didn't look too bad.
     "God, please free the man from the bondage he is in.  He is bound in Satan's chains, God.  He was wearing strings around his wrists [this is done to protect people from the spirits], God.  Please send someone to share You and Your love with him.  Save him, Father!" 
     Unable to do anything, she continued on...but the rest of that day was completely different.  Not just because a life was at risk, but the thought that so many people are bound in Satan's chains. 
     Innocently, many people wear strings and bracelets around their wrists because it's cool.  In other cultures, this is a sign that is supposed to keep you safe from the spirits, not to make you look cool, but people are making it a part of their fashion.
     "Father God, show me the balance in knowing where I need to be different from the world.  I don't want to be bound in Satan's chains.  I don't want to be wrapped up in something that is giving Satan leverage in my life." 

When His plans over.ride my plans...

Usually every individual longs to finish his school work and be free.
But often they go into college and hit the books for several more years...
Well, my story is kinda like this and kinda not...
So grab a cup of coffee and hang on for the ride...
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Several years ago: The Rhodes family planned a year of "facing a new set of problems."
Destination: Reading, PA
Plan A: Mr. Rhodes [the first] [wait, not really, but you get it, right?] would find a job, RaVonne would find a job and begin life in the big world, the boys would go to school, and Mrs. Rhodes [no need to insert the first here..esp since that wouldn't be correct either] would be at home with the little bro.

When night, still several years ago, my parents were discussing some school things for that year and I was listening in...[don't worry, it wasn't a private meeting]..the main topic was what the boys would get to experience..basketball with a REAL team, a bigger school, attending convention, ect...
My first response was that's great for them, but what about me? [take note of the selfish attitude here]..It just didn't seem fair that they could experience all of this and I was going to work! What type of life is that? [insert sarcasm] ... I have dreamed of playing on a volleyball team [even though it isn't my top fav. sport], being in a big school, singing in a choir, and all that jazz..well, I remember telling God that night, right before I went to bed, that I would love to do that..."If it would be at ALL possible, would there be some way that You could work that out?" Then I drifted off to sleep and forgot all about that, until....

The beginning of this year the whole thing of going to school was discussed..[it had been discussed earlier, but I was SURE that it wouldn't happen]...It was possible that I could wait to graduate till the following year and do some schooling at Fairview...well, who in the world waits to graduate when they could be done.."nobody does that, dad!  Why would I go to school for a FIFTH year of highschool? People usually don't graduate late unless they aren't very smart or stuff like that..I don't want to do that!"
But it didn't end there...My dad talked with me about it several times and I started really thinking...was it THAT weird? 
If you ask my family, they would probably say I was slightly, no, really, overwhelmed with the whole thing...the decision was up to me..not my parents...
I prayed and prayed and prayed..talked to different people about it...my dad emailed the school principal about it to see if it would really work..[mean while i was hoping he would just say no so that i would know for sure what i was supposed to do]...his response was this [or something to this degree..not the exact words :) ] "You only get to experience highschool once in a life time..." :) :) :)
You can imagine how I felt!

Then, one afternoon, I was getting ready to go somewhere, and this story came back to me...[the one a few paragraphs up] .... It was one of those conversations with God...

"RaVonne, remember when you told Me that you wanted to experience a big school and all of that?  You said that you wanted to do it if there would by any possible way!
RaVonne, your heart for teenagers isn't something to ignore...what if you wouldn't be able to reach teens through your job, if you would get one?  Here is an open door, from Me, your Father.  You are going to be with teenagers five days a week.  Couldn't that be a ministry?"

My eyes filled with tears of joy... this was all too wonderful...

"But God, I don't want to graduate late..what about that?"

"RaVonne, just not long ago, AT ALL, you wrote on your blog about surrender...what do you think I was preparing you for then?  Would you really consider your wants and status instead of My will?  As much as you love teenagers, would you really give them up and not show them who I am and graduate on time?"

By this time I was completely overwhelmed...I couldn't really believe that God was doing this through someone like me...How stupid could I be to consider my will inplace of His?

So, I planned to finish my highschool work in four years...I would then take the fifth year to do some other electives that I would love to do and also to improve some of my gifts...
There have been many moments of freaking out...but I think back to that one afternoon when He told me what He wanted....There is no greater joy, then to be at the center of His will!

I would appreciate your prayers as I go through this next year...It won't all be fun and games..but I can't wait to see what all He has in store for me...and for the school in Reading, PA!

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Thank you so much for joining me in my story...so many of you have been such an encouragement to me in all of this! The whole story is completely of God...I can't take credit for ANY of it!

My prayer is that all of you will be encouraged to follow His calling on your life...Give Him everything..you won't have anything to lose!

So long, for now...and tune back in to hear more about this coming year..