"What does it look like to be a Christian?

It was August 31, 2014, and I was trying to make my Sunday afternoon relaxing and enjoyable.

But I couldn't.

It didn't matter what I did to attempt the task of distracting my heavy heart, it didn't work.

In fact, it all got worse.

After the last straw broke, I grabbed my journal & began to take out my anger, thoughts, and confusion on my blank pieces of paper.  The pen was greatly used & the thoughts were put on lines in a desperate attempt to find answers.

I desperately wanted to know why I felt the way I did.

"I don't know who I am anymore."  were the first words slammed against the page.

I wrote of the way I felt...the feelings that flooded my heart when I looked in the mirror or at pictures of this little girl.
"Why couldn't I have those days back where all I did was smile?  Or why can't I feel the freedom I used to?"

Nothing made sense.  As I came to the end of my journal entry, the anger and frustration brought determination...

"God, I realize there's so much I don't know and need from You."
"Starting today...I am going on a journey.  {a journey to find God, myself, and what life as a Christian looks like}"

To be honest, I was sick of Christianity.
Not that I was giving up or saying it's not the One True Way...but the lives I see Christians living these days makes me sick.

"I know there's more to it than what I see.  The way these people live isn't that different than any other person.  Sure they go to church twice a week, have their daily devotions every day, pray, and go to Bible School, but seriously...is that what they think the Christian life is all about?? ...I mean, if that's all it is, skip it!  That isn't anything special to me.  If Jesus returned tonight, what would we have to say for ourselves?  Did our lives really do anything worth while?"

It was September 25, 2014, and I had somehow stumbled across a song I had heard before, but this time it struck me.

"...how You lived...how You died...LOVE is sacrifice...LET my LIFE BE THE proof OF Your love..."

"I want to stand before You on judgement day knowing I gave ALL.  & nothing short of all I have.
You have given me life, so to live it for myself would be ((wrong))."

Jesus hung on the cross for me. {in my place}  its overwhelming."

 ( ( l o v e ) )

It was then that the realization struck me.

I had been searching for the answer to "What does it look like for me to be a Christian?" & right there was my answer.

l e t  MY  l i f e  be the  p r o o f  of  YOUR  l o v e

It sounds simple enough...but I continually ask God to show me what that might be.

What does it really look like to be the proof of His love??

His love is so great..indescribable.  How is it possible that some imperfect human being could possibly attempt to show His love?

This I still don't know...but there is one thing I do know..

We live in a time where love is desperately needed.  It's time we stand up and step out of our comforts.  It's time we leave the norm and create a new normal.  Who says it's not cool to be sold out for Jesus?

I challenge you to look at your life seriously.  Are there things in your life that are holding you back from giving everything??  Do you really want to spend as much time with God as you do with your friends or on social media??  {it's hard...i know the struggle is insanely hard}

What does it look like for you to be a Christian??

There is a chance that tonight you could stand before God.  Will you hear the words, "Well done, My good and faithful servant..." ??

LIFE is serious.

Don't live it carelessly.