It was
just like everything was being stripped away...
And I
was starting life all over again.
Everything
was new...except my family.
After
a year and a half, I came home...
Or I
thought that's what I was going to do…
As I
stepped on the plane, everything within me wanted to run...run as far away as
possible...away from the airplane, away from the direction we were headed, away
from life.
I
couldn't put words to the way I felt. Everything within me was reacting.
Tears
streamed down my face as the plane left American soil.
How
would I ever live through all this emotion??
Nine
months later and I’m still trying to find my place.
I
thought I was coming ‘home’…but home changed while I was away…
I
constantly think of the words I mumbled to my counselor two and a half years
ago when she threw this question at me.
“If there was one thing you could change in your
life, what would it be?”
“Consistency…I
would try to make life experience more consistency.”
Consistency
is one thing my life has lacked…it’s not wrong; it just brings pain in all
styles of shapes and sizes.
The
only common thing through all the years has been change.
||besides
my family + God||
Here
we are again…trying to find our place in all the change.
This is
one of our Earthly homes God has granted us, but in the time we were gone
s o m u c h c h a n g e d.
My
flesh longs to fight it all out. I
desperately try to stay strong…but then I find myself wiping tears from my eyes
at the oddest times.
Even
when I think I finally pulled it all together, I find myself squeezing Jesus’
arm as we walk through the storm.
Sometimes
I see one set of footprints in the sand and I know the only way I’m making it
through each day is because of His strong arms carrying me.
Will
life ever get back to the way it used to be??
I don’t
think so…and we need to be ok with that.
But I
do think it’s ok to miss the old days and the small family feel of life way
back then…
Change
isn’t wrong…it’s just a part of life.
With
Jesus, all things are possible…and because of Him, we press on.
||He
is my Refuge + my Fortress.
My God
in whom I trust…||
