Sunday, November 30, 2014

วันขอบคุณพระเจ้า {Thanksgiving}

Because my Thanksgiving Day was completely different this year, my thankful list didn't make it here on time.  Here it is ---> better late than never! :)

 Thanksgiving candy given to you RIGHT ON THANKSGIVING. {all the way from the USA}

 the beach & all the times i get to spend there

 my best friends. my brothers.

Yes. We take lots of pictures together! ;]

 Memories made with friends. {it's from last year..but it was memorable}

 Fun with kids & opportunities to share His love.

Christmas. & trees & hats & lights to make it feel festive.
{you have to try to understand the way i feel about this}

 my little pumpkin.

leftover pumpkin pie...hey, we'll take that!

 beautiful holidays that remind us of the need for Jesus in the entire world.

chances to learn this language. 

 those few times it's cool enough to wear a sweatshirt on the bike.

trips with these people. <3 

 Fall Parties & the many laughs.

 Apple Bobbing Competitions with him. ;]

^ this opportunity once again.
{one of the best things.} 

 my little bud.

 Chiang Mai FC games.

 places like this ^

{yes. another one with the tree. but i couldn't resist because he just makes this one priceless.} 

Madre's pies & early Thanksgiving meals.


This Thanksgiving Day had to be one of the {best} ever!  There was no traditional Thanksgiving meal, no day off, no extended family to party with, and nothing 'normal' about the day...BUT I COULDN'T HAVE WISHED FOR IT TO BE ANY DIFFERENT.  To hang out with TCKs from all over Asia, eat yummy rice & veggies, watch athletic competitions, and just enjoy the small things in life made the day better than any Thanksgiving Day could ever be.  To reconnect with friends from the past, meet new people, and just watch people relate without any concerns does one's heart good.  How could you ask for anything else??  It's not wrong to eat Thanksgiving meals, party with friends, and go Black Friday shopping...but where's the Thankfulness in all of that!?!?  It's not wrong, but are we really thankful for what we do have!?

To be honest, there are thousands of things I could add to this list...but for the sake of time, we shall leave it at that...
HAPPY BELATED THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF YOU AMERICANS!! {& to the rest of you who celebrate it too}
&& an early MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
{since it's coming right up}

<3

{& don't forget to make every day Thanksgiving Day....don't take life for granted because it truly is a gift we don't deserve!}

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Truly I Am Human...no doubts about it.

To say I've failed time and time again wouldn't truly tell you the embarrassing number of fails this life has committed.
To express the fact that I've hurt people more than once doesn't quite cut it.
To admit the fact that I have sinned over & over wouldn't completely state it all.
To honestly say I have not lived my entire life in a way that honors God would be a major understatement.

To say I have let God down would be wrong, because I am not holding Him up.
But the truth is, I have failed over & over & over & over {ok. you get the point}.

I honestly don't think I can express this in words.
But I can try a major attempt.


The past week and a half have been the worst.
My relationship with God has suffered. {majorly}

Each day has been filled with "important" things... & at the end of the day, sleep seems comfortable.
"I'll make my time with God work in the morning."
Morning comes...& you know how it goes...{or maybe you are one of those super-human people who never has this issue...)

I drive myself insane.

"RaVonne, how can you leave a trip where God taught you incredible things to get back into "normal/everyday" life??  If you died tonight, RaVonne, would you have been a good & faithful servant??  What about all those lessons God clearly threw at you in a very personal way??  RaVonne, you know what's right...What are you going to do about it!?!?"

I've wrestled day after day.  Until God brought something to mind.
It hurt.  It shook me.  There was nothing I could do, but cry out to God.

"God, why do I always do this??  Time and time again...seriously. Aren't You just sick of it?!?  Why do I get so wrapped up in this junk....this trash...this stuff of the world that WILL NOT benefit me in the end!?!?  Maybe it's not wrong..but it's definitely not helping me out in any way...Honestly, God, if I were You {which is obviously impossible, but...} I would've given up on this helpless soul a long time ago!  How can you continually love me like this!?"

In the background I hear the song...

"Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,
  
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
                
And even when I'm caught

in the middle of the storms of this life,
  
I won't turn back, I know You are near.


                
And I will fear no evil,
             
For my God is with me.
                
And if my God is with me,
                 
Whom then shall I fear?
                  
Whom then shall I fear?



Oh no, You never let go,

Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go,

In every high and every low

O no, You never let go

Lord, You never let go of me.



And I can see a light
that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare.
And there will be an end
to these troubles, But until that day comes,
We'll live to know You here on the earth.




Yes, I can see a light that is coming

for the heart that holds on,
                  
And there will be an end to these troubles,

but until that day comes,

Still I will praise You"



The thought comes to me again of God's love in sending His only Son for my life..for your life.
He really didn't have the guarantee that people would accept the greatest gift of all.  But He did it anyway...HE.GAVE.HIS.LIFE.FOR.MINE.

Just try to let that sink in.  Seriously.  Think about it.

So, I am going to try again.  It is worth it in the end.  But somehow I always get lost somewhere....but He will give me the strength to keep going.  Life is hard.  Being a follower of the One True King is difficult.  But let me tell you, boy, is it ever worth it all in the end.

"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever."  
Psalms 73:26


Friday, October 17, 2014

"What does it look like to be a Christian?

It was August 31, 2014, and I was trying to make my Sunday afternoon relaxing and enjoyable.

But I couldn't.

It didn't matter what I did to attempt the task of distracting my heavy heart, it didn't work.

In fact, it all got worse.

After the last straw broke, I grabbed my journal & began to take out my anger, thoughts, and confusion on my blank pieces of paper.  The pen was greatly used & the thoughts were put on lines in a desperate attempt to find answers.

I desperately wanted to know why I felt the way I did.

"I don't know who I am anymore."  were the first words slammed against the page.

I wrote of the way I felt...the feelings that flooded my heart when I looked in the mirror or at pictures of this little girl.
"Why couldn't I have those days back where all I did was smile?  Or why can't I feel the freedom I used to?"

Nothing made sense.  As I came to the end of my journal entry, the anger and frustration brought determination...

"God, I realize there's so much I don't know and need from You."
"Starting today...I am going on a journey.  {a journey to find God, myself, and what life as a Christian looks like}"

To be honest, I was sick of Christianity.
Not that I was giving up or saying it's not the One True Way...but the lives I see Christians living these days makes me sick.

"I know there's more to it than what I see.  The way these people live isn't that different than any other person.  Sure they go to church twice a week, have their daily devotions every day, pray, and go to Bible School, but seriously...is that what they think the Christian life is all about?? ...I mean, if that's all it is, skip it!  That isn't anything special to me.  If Jesus returned tonight, what would we have to say for ourselves?  Did our lives really do anything worth while?"

It was September 25, 2014, and I had somehow stumbled across a song I had heard before, but this time it struck me.



"...how You lived...how You died...LOVE is sacrifice...LET my LIFE BE THE proof OF Your love..."

"I want to stand before You on judgement day knowing I gave ALL.  & nothing short of all I have.
You have given me life, so to live it for myself would be ((wrong))."

Jesus hung on the cross for me. {in my place}  its overwhelming."
 ( ( l o v e ) )

It was then that the realization struck me.

I had been searching for the answer to "What does it look like for me to be a Christian?" & right there was my answer.

l e t  MY  l i f e  be the  p r o o f  of  YOUR  l o v e

It sounds simple enough...but I continually ask God to show me what that might be.

What does it really look like to be the proof of His love??

His love is so great..indescribable.  How is it possible that some imperfect human being could possibly attempt to show His love?

This I still don't know...but there is one thing I do know..

We live in a time where love is desperately needed.  It's time we stand up and step out of our comforts.  It's time we leave the norm and create a new normal.  Who says it's not cool to be sold out for Jesus?

I challenge you to look at your life seriously.  Are there things in your life that are holding you back from giving everything??  Do you really want to spend as much time with God as you do with your friends or on social media??  {it's hard...i know the struggle is insanely hard}

What does it look like for you to be a Christian??

There is a chance that tonight you could stand before God.  Will you hear the words, "Well done, My good and faithful servant..." ??

LIFE is serious.
Don't live it carelessly.


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Life As I Know It...

Every day I run into situations that remind me of the differences in everyone's lives.  The way I view life is completely different than any one else because of my life experiences and especially my unique childhood.  Your life is special, just like mine, and I may never fully understand the way you live or view life & that's ok.

every life is special in the Father's eyes.



It's those days when the rain falls & I have no desire to go outside that God teaches me to be thankful.  Raincoats have value.  So much more value when my transportation is a motorcycle.  It's then that I learn to make things fun and exciting even when I don't really want to face the world.


Those moments when we go to the market & eat in hole in the wall places.  Some of our favorite foods have never tasted so good.


The times of road tripping & Minute Maid kept me company.


The time our family crammed into our little van and took a vacation...we used the pool the entire time & enjoyed fun snacks.
{that's how this family vacations}




Friday afternoons spent at a coffee shop doing homework with the brothers.


Those many stops at McDonald's when the restaurant would be overtaken by the bus & you got your regular, all time favorite tradition.  Those were the times memories were made with high school friends.


The memories that flooded your mind as you visited your old MN home.



The instant you realize your Skit Team got first at ISC & all you can do is smile the biggest, cheesiest smile ever because every practice created memories & payed off big time.

When the first snow hit the ground & all I could do was dance around the house for it had been entirely way too long since this child had played outside in a hat, gloves, snow pants, and boots.



That moment when your madre snaps a picture of you and padre all dressed up for a special occasion.


The moment you fell in love with your EBC student & the times you miss her dearly & the only thing you can do is pray that He will protect her life.


Goodbyes & plane rides with your not so favorite food, but you learn to accept it as a way of life in this family.
& those love hate relationships with airports...



The time the little besties matched & the photo became a fave as we got older.


The time I was sick & madre surprised me with a fave hot drink.
& the time I took a selfie with pumpkin because he's just too cute.



The time I decided vanilla yogurt & raspberries were my favorite snack when really I used to make myself sick over yogurt.


The times you hear "fail" over & over and you feel quite stupid.
& the times God gives you answers to your questions..



When your padre takes you on dates or motorcycle rides & you love him because he's your hero & you can't imagine life without him.


The time you wish you were on a bike instead of a car stuck in a traffic jam or the moments of practicing over & over to accomplish the skill of a new instrument.



The memories made at cute little restaurants & the many drinks of coffee...




The times I played with my Grenadian friends & loved life the way it was..



Along with many other experiences....
These are the things that have made my life the way it is.  These are a few of the moments that have shaped me into the person I am today...the strengths & the struggles..they are all because of the experiences...

You, too, have a past..a childhood full of memories.  You, too, have strengths & struggles.  the people around you might seem strange, but we need to see them the way God does.  We don't understand everything, but God does & He loves them in spite of their odds.

My challenge to you is
L O V E the people around you the way H E loves Y O U.